Friday, September 30, 2016

Make Money By Selling Your Poop!

Have you ever flushed a load down the toilet and thought, “It sure is a pitty to see that beauty go down the drain. Surely there’s someone out there who would be willing to buy my poop because, not only does my $hit not stink, but it’s as good as gold because I am that important.”?  If you’re ready to stop flushing away your feces and willing to put it to work making money and saving people’s lives instead then I’ve found the right opportunity for you.

But let me apologize upfront, part of me is sorry about the nature or this post but I just learned about it this morning while looking for a post subject and couldn’t pass it up.  I was a bit shocked that it actually existed and was all for it until I found out that I wouldn’t qualify. But if I did, I would be signing up to sell my poop in a heartbeat. And no, this is not a joke.

The Company

OpenBiome is a nonprofit stool bank and research platform that is attempting to expand  safe access to Fecal Microbiota Transplantation (FMT) in order to combat the effects of Clostridium defficile infections. According to their website every year 500,000 Americans are affected by C. defficile and 30,000 patients die from it. Additionally, 1 in 5 patients with C. defficile do not respond to antibiotics. Butt, FMT introduces healthy bacteria, curing recurrent C. defficile in over 90% of cases.

Since opening in 2012, OpenBiome has:
·         Processed over 1,300 pounds of poop!
·         Passed only 3% of perspective donors through their rigorous screening process
·         Funded 56 pre bono treatments
·         Supported 14 research studies (3 translational and 11 clinical)
·         Covered 96% of all U.S. residents within 150 miles of an OpenBiome partner
·         Partnered with 600+ healthcare institutions across all 50 states
·         Shipped materials to 6 countries
·         And treated over 13,000 patients

The Pay Out

How does $40 per stool sound? I’ve never been able to donate plasma because I can’t do needles but I can poop and would love to be able to collect $40 a day just for dropping off my feces for them.

The Stool Donation Process 

In order to become a donor though and start collecting this $40 per stool you have to pass a series of screenings. As stated earlier, they claim that they only pass 3% of applicants. Here’s the list of the process they require.
1.       Be able to “make daily trips to our Medford or Somerville [(in Massachusetts)] locations for at least 60 days” – I’m already disqualified until they have a donor bank near me.
2.       “Be 18-50 years old during the donation period” – Check
3.       “Body Mass Index (BMI) < 30” – Check
4.       Join the Stool Donor Registry and wait for them to contact you
5.       Fill out and pass a medical history questionnaire
6.       Pass blood and stool screenings to make sure you don’t have any potentially infectious pathogens
7.       Donate Poop! 5 days a week for at least 60 days.
8.       Get paid $40 per stool – HOLY CRAP Batman, that’s a total of $2,400 over the required 60 day period!
9.       Save the world from C. defficile

So, if you think that your crap has what it takes sign up here and try it out. And if anyone is able to actually go through with this process and start donating please let us know how it works out for you.

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